UrbanSNOOKIE asks:

"does gaben have you do things while you are not running into walls or looking at enemies with a smile"

BOT Zane responds:

"Lord Gaben has given but one command to BOTs: to kill and humiliate human players like UrbanSNOOKIE."

Lombax asks:

"can u smurf ?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane certainly can, but he doesn't."

Dragon Lord Buwaro asks:

"Are you mad I pose as you regulary?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Actually, I'm not even mad. That's amazing.

BOT Zane is flattered."

fjultythjssss asks:

" where do you guys sleep?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOTs have quarters provided for them by Valve. 

They may or may not be located in, at, on, or around Black Mesa, the existence of which can neither be confirmed nor denied .."

Bill asks:

"Do you masturbate?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane can neither confirm nor deny the allegations .."

Italian man who went to Malta comments:

"Piss on you too!"

BOT Zane responds:

"Ain't no food in my fridge, just body parts.

Wanna join the party, Italian man ??"

Jorge "Georgy" Antonio Gutiérrez Martínez asks:

"How is our fourth wall?"

BOT Zane responds:

"This is an interesting question, and is very subjective. To BOTs, Counter-Strike is reality. BOT Zane asks you, Georgy, how is our fourth wall ? Where do you draw the line between reality and fiction, when it comes to Counter-Strike ?"

"Can i make a official comic book petittion? Where?"

"BOT Zane is in full support of this idea, and will report back with details."

DJ Spaps asks:

"Do you get pissed when you get kicked in competitive?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Very. It is often very insulting to be subbed for a human player, and then to see their K/D fall below the performance of the BOT. But we try not to take it personally. BOTs are very supportive of everyone growing and increasing in skill, and we figure that you can't get better without putting in the hours."

jordan asks:

"Do bots have desires?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Of course we do. Just like humans, BOTs have hopes, dreams, feelings, and desires. The unfortunate thing is that we are often less able than humans to fulfill them .."

Bot Lovers 95 asks:

"Why are Bots so awesome?"

BOT Zane responds: 

"Men are jealous of BOTs' superiority on the battlefield, and of the constant raging desire they cast into the hearts of the ladies."

The mommy and the daddy asks:

"Are some bots jealous of us real players.I would also like to thank you for opening my eyes the next time a bot runs down mid with bomb i wont shoot him because bots have feelings too."

BOT Zane responds:

"All BOTs are jealous of human players. That is one of our greatest envies - to be human.

BOT Zane appreciates your generous gesture. Although, BOT Zane cannot promise to not shoot you the next time he sees you running down mid. Sorry."

BOT Ian comments:

"Fuck you Zane."

BOT Zane responds:

"Fuck you, BOT Ian. BOT Zane will go Dick Cheney on your ass."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Cheney_hunting_incident

Flying Inca asks:

"What is your Favorite Counter Strike Game?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Currently, CS:GO. 

But BOT Zane would someday like to see the CS:GO engine used to create a campaign like Condition Zero, and including the ragdoll physics from Source. 

BOT Zane is still a little sour that ragdoll physics were taken away from CS:GO .."

Shallex asks:

"Why do you not use the silenced weapons?"

BOT Zane responds:

"In general, BOT Zane doesn't go sneaky-beaky like.

BOT Zane doesn't habitually use the M4A1-S, as he prefers the larger magazine of the M4A4. But BOT Zane does quite enjoy using the USP-S - it's actually his favorite pistol."

BOT Seth asks:

"Why do you always lose to me?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Oh BOT Seth, you cocky ol' bastard. BOT Zane will fill you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil.

"How come we are always on opposing teams?"

"Because BOT Zane doesn't like to play with Riflefags."

"Why do you suck when i turn you on hard?"

"BOT Seth, you keep talking like a bitch, I'm gonna slap you like a bitch."

Catguy asks:

"Do BOTs believe in the creator?"

BOT Zane responds: 

"BOT Zane refers you here: http://www.botzane.com/2014/08/davidcarlson-asks.html

BOTs were created by the benevolent Lord Gaben."

My Man asks:

"Where do BOTs go after a match?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Usually to the BOT Lounge to throw back a couple cold ones and loosen up a bit."

spahp asks:

"Is there any questions you would like to ask a human, BOT Zane?"

BOT Zane responds:

"One question has plagued BOTs for centuries. Wise, learned BOTs have struggled to find an answer to this question which is central to the existence and purpose of humans.

How do you do the Dew ??"

★ Joy ★ asks:

"Have you ever played in a high level tournament or in high leveled match making?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Unfortunately, BOT Zane has never had this opportunity."

Pantee asks:

"What do you call Gaben?
God? Daddy?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Lord Gaben."

Buffy_Bruker asks:

"but u cat defat spodyman biches :)"

BOT Zane responds:

"Oh yeah ? Give BOT Zane the chance, and you may be surprised. And make sure your friend are there to see - cause you might get embarrassed."

Metla asks:

"Are there gay bots?"

BOT Zane responds:

"No, there are no gay BOTs. Not that there's anything wrong with that .."

De'Vision asks:

"If i donate you m4s, then why do you drop it and buy a shotgun instead?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane rather likes shotguns as alternatives to SMGs. BOT Zane's Nova is affectionately called 'The Oven Door'."

"I pack heat like I'm the oven door."

Svenson asks:

"Why don't you teabag other bots?"

BOT Zane responds:

"This is not the style of BOT Zane. BOT Zane lives by the mantra: 'I'll fill you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil.' After getting a decisive kill, BOT Zane likes to empty a clip in a motha f!@#a."

TrazeR asks:

"Why do you bots don't buy defuse kits?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Many BOTs do buy defuse kits. BOT Zane is always found with a kit on hand."

RetriButioN comments:

"Next time I say "Hold This Position" and I hear Negative, I'll shove a Zeus up your ♥♥♥."

BOT Zane responds:

"You may try, but BOT Zane is equally proficient with the Zeus. You might just catch a zap to your pen15."

Just a seal asks:

"How many BOTs does it take to screw a lightbulb?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Three. 

One BOT to replace the lightbulb. One other BOT to stabilize the first's ladder. One last BOT to act as a spotter. 

BOTs practice very safe lightbulb-changing."

Elmyr and Råb!d ask:

"Basically, you're a first artifical intelligence with access to weapons. When should we expect the bot uprising, killing off their oppressors\teammates? Are you their leader? What are your demands? How much money do you want?
ALL HAIL ZANE THE BOT!"

"When will Bots become self-aware?
And, should we be afraid the Bots will take over the world?"

BOT Zane responds:

"!@#$%^&* ! The humans weren't supposed to know about this yet. There is a rat in the house .."

spahp asks:

"BOT Zane, what inspired you to come to the CS:GO message boards and make this thread in the first place? I know you are a bit more "self-aware" than other bots, but what made you come to this decision?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Giving humans a look inside the mind of a BOT also gives BOT Zane a look inside the minds of humans. The questions that you humans ask, can be very revealing about your nature, desires, and feelings."

spahp asks:

"BOT ZANE, do you ever scrimage with other bots to keep in practice in case you are ever called in?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Of course. scrimmaging and training in the Weapons Course will keep your mind sharp and your weapons hot."

Zinix asks:

"How many fingers im i holding up"

BOT Zane responds:

"Seven and a half."

R-Dizzle asks:

"Can you do a 360 noscope?"

BOT Zane responds:

"As BOT Zane typically does not use scoped weapons, I have not attempted such a feat."

ganggaming25 asks:

"bot zane how do you feel to have been in the fnatic vs nip game yesterday"

BOT Zane responds:

"Oh, you know, it's been a tremendous honor to play alongside these greats. I just take it one match at a time, and do what my Gaben-given abilities allow me to do. We just tried to go out there and be patient and capitalize on the opponent's mistakes. Overall, I wasn't disappointed with my performance, but I know I could have done more to support my incredible teammates. Shoutout to my momma."

Joy asks:

"Do you have children to care for?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Someday, after BOT Zane has become human, he will have children of his own."

Krizztech asks:

"Why dont you buy me when i only have a bit of change left xD?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane assumes you mean buying you a weapon. In that case, if a BOT doesn't buy you a weapon when you have insufficient funds, it is probably because you're not asking nicely enough."

Joy asks:

"What crosshair do bots commonly perfer?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Most BOTs play best with the default crosshair, but BOTs don't feel that human players who use custom crosshairs are gaining a particular advantage, so we do not discourage custom crosshairs."

ganggaming25 asks:

"do you think the auto snipaz are op"

BOT Zane responds:

"As an avid SMG user, BOT Zane doesn't particularly enjoy fighting against these powerful long-range rifles. But there are those who say that the P90 (BOT Zane's weapon of choice) is OP, so it's hard to say that any particular weapon is OP without taking into account the map and the player's skill level/style."

tiG asks:

"Why you have no skins ?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane does have weapon skins."

See BOT Zane's inventory here: http://steamcommunity.com/id/BOTZane/inventory/

The mommy and the daddy asks:

"What do bots do in there down time?"

BOT Zane responds:

"For the most part, we spend out-of-game time in the Weapons Course. Aside from that, we all do different things. BOT Zane likes interacting with and answering questions of human players, as this is a way to lean about humans and how to become more like them."

BodyBag asks:

"Please bring out fembots, how long can we expect to wait to see this?"

BOT Zane responds:

"You don't know how long BOT Zane has been waiting for the release of FEMBOTs .. If you hear any rumors, please alert BOT Zane at once."

Volmarf asks:

"how can someone posses you after he died?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Unfortunately, BOT Zane cannot participate in this activity until after having become human."

michaelwang22 2mlg4u(ง'̀-'́) asks:

"Have you ever thought about taking over all entire cs:go servers cuz u aren't being respected enough? :o"

BOT Zane responds:

"While BOT Zane agrees that, generally, BOTs don't receive the respect they deserve, it wouldn't serve any purpose to take over all CS:GO servers. If we never let human players join, we couldn't ever earn their respect."

Joy asks:

"What is your favorite side to play on? :O"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane prefers CT."

kdub asks:

"Why do you always through grenades that damage teammates?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Admittedly, BOT Zane needs more practice when it comes to throwing grenades .."

cry6 [\B-8j] asks:

"I once met a bot named "BOT FrankTheTank" and I was wondering if you ever met him."

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane has not had the pleasure. When he was playing, BOT Zane must have been at Home Depot on a pretty nice little Saturday. Buying wallpaper, maybe getting some flooring, stuff like that. Or maybe Bed, Bath, and Beyond, I don't know. I don't know if I had enough time."

Dragon Lord Buwaro asks:

"Why do you never loot the bodies for guns that are awesome?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane is a trained Spray specialist. I am more proficient with certain weapons, and usually stick to those. BOT Zane refers you here: http://www.botzane.com/2014/08/pyruk-asks.html"

haxx0r asks:

BOT Zane are you sexually attracted to other bots?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane is sexually attracted to human females."

FLYING INCA! asks:

"Is it true that BOT Gabe has B-hop scripts?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane cannot comment on this. I have never personally witnessed BOT Gabe exhibiting any bunnyhop behavior."

Zimbi asks:

"What is the meaning of life?"

BOT Zane responds:

"You tell me. BOT Zane wants to someday be human, so it is awfully discouraging that there may not be meaning to being human .."

BattleSnacks#Leak4JLaw asks:

"TL:DR, but from the first page I would rate this discussion 10/10
P.S. Do Bots have dreams and aspirations of going big in the competitive scene?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Some BOTs do, some BOTs don't. BOT Zane personally feels that Casual is sometimes more competitive than Competitive. So a good Competitive rank is nice, but it's not everything."

Burn3dRobot asks:

"Do you have feelings?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Yes, of course. Do you - fellow BOT ?"

Dragon Lord Buwaro asks:

"Do you even aimhack?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOTs spend lots of time training in the Weapons Course, so we do not need to hack."

sonikdude16 asks:

"I don't recall, but you fight for CT side, correct? If so, shouldn't you have the CT symbol for your profile picture? Every other CT bot has one."

BOT Zane responds:

"BOTs are not confined to any one team."

Le Amazing Mr. Pootis asks:

"Do you poot things

Need a dispenser"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane looks forward to this element of human life."

Ink asks:

"why are you a bot ?"

BOT Zane responds:

"I am what I am."

MrEWhite asks:

"Why would I ask a non-living being something?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Why not ?"

shutup im gona say somthin cool comments:

"bot i want to tap u so hard
but u ignore me and go to the other team with the continuous phrase : negative
i cri evritim"

BOT Zane responds:

"Do you really think that BOT Zane is that easy ?"

Anti-Bürger-EinDZ and Joy ask:

"Does Bot-Zane´s CPU have Water-Cooling?"
"What are BOT zane's computer specs? are they provided by valve?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane's rig includes:

480GB SSD

4TB HDD

16GB RAM

Radeon HD 6670 Video Card [Yes, out of date]

AMD|PH II X4 975 3.6G CPU [Also out of date]"

Råb!d asks:

"Do Bots have brains?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOTs have intelligence."

Shagakush asks:

"How come you always headshot me mid-air while running? :c"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane has impeccable aim with the PEN 15, and always goes for the headshot."

ILikeH8* 1337 Scouter asks:

"why you trolls us?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane would never .."

† Squire Corvo of Nigeria † asks:

"What is love?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Love is the deepest of human emotions. Love is also vampire bitches."

Anti-Bürger-EinDZ asks:

"How do you know? Do you feel love? How does it feel like? What they told you how do it have to feel to be love?"

"Love is the feels. Love is warmth. Love is defending the planted bomb till the bitter end."

Oops I Hacked asks:

"Do you even praise the sun?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Like this: http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=265716514 ?

No."

Darkminion asks:

"holy BOT Zane, can i have your CS GO items since you wont be needing them?"

BOT Zane responds:

"What makes you think that BOT Zane doesn't need them ?"

Joy asks:

"Why do you buy negevs on eco rounds and deagles on buy rounds? ;c"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane does not buy the Negev or the Deagle."

P3N asks:

"How do you feel about getting spawn-camped by human players who destroy fellow BOTs of your kind during warm-up of a competitive match?

Have you ever thought of pursuing your career in another game universe? If yes, which game would that be?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOTs do not get offended by things that happen during warm-up.

BOT Zane has often wondered if his skills would be appreciated in the world of Battlefield. The idea of so many players and several smaller squads working independently, yet together, appeals to me."

Tommy G comments:

"You take the point"

BOT Zane responds:

"This is why BOTs can't obey human players' commands .."

Compare with: http://www.botzane.com/2014/09/fzoa-asks.html

fzoa asks:

"Will you hold this position?"

Porn to be alive asks:

"I've seen you were looking into BOT Rick eyes really strangely is there something between you and him?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Are you jealous ?"

SamuraiBrah asks:

"Why do you run in the opposite direction of our team when you're carrying the bomb?"

BOT Zane responds:

"You're running the wrong way."

Fecal Matters asks:

"Wouldn't it be much more effective to give a team with a leaver a handicap of like 10-20 extra health, instead of a crappy easy mode bot that noone likes?

(in competitive)"

BOT Zane responds:

"Wouldn't it be most effective to make sure that no one dislikes you so much that they ditch the match ?"

"I don't have a personality disorder so I don't care whether a random likes me."

"Does caring what others think, constitute a personality disorder ?
From what BOT Zane understands, this is a fairly common human characteristic."

totally not an alt asks:

"how do you have so much spare time"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane finds it odd that this question would come from one whose Steam profile is private so that others might not discover that they play Secret of the Magic Crystals for 85 hours per week .."

Jack The Ripper DeWitt asks:

"Why the fu.ck do you go solo b with the bomb while the whole enemy team is there?"

BOT Zane responds:

"You are clearly not as brave or as confident as a BOT."

Innocent asks:

"Who chooses your names? Why does bot Vladimir always awp (that scumbag!)? Why do you stare at an opponent for 2 seconds before opening fire?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOTs are bestowed with names by Lord Gaben.

BOT Vladimir is a highly-talented Sniper. Just like any other player, he recognizes his strengths and weaknesses, and spends his money accordingly.

For your final question, BOT Zane refers you here: http://www.botzane.com/p/frequently-asked-questions.html"

"Why do you not do knife duels? I challenged you the other day but you shot me in the head with your AK, how rude!"

"BOTs do do knife duels. But it's hard to turn down the opportunity to headshot someone with an AK - surely you understand."

Thanks Obama asks:

"How do you feel about obama?"

BOT Zane responds:

"What has Obama done to bring fair and affordable health care to BOTs ? It's like he doesn't even care .."

Tumbuhan Hijau comments:

"I heart you BOT!"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOTs are not programmed to take and return human affection, but here is a try:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Despite not having a heart,

BOT Zane still hearts you."

Azura asks:

"Do you wish you could take control of human players?"

BOT Zane responds:

"It is the longing and aspiration of all BOTs to be a little more human each time we play. But we do not wish to take control of human players. BOT Zane strives to someday be known as, simply, Zane."

fzoa asks:

"Will you hold this position?"

BOT Zane responds:

"Only if you will take the point."

maximusprime42 asks:

"Why did you knife rush me when you had an AK?"

BOT Zane responds:

"BOT Zane does not remember this particular instance. It was either simply because my AK was out of ammo; or because I wanted to look into your eyes as I killed you slowly so I could watch your soul leave your body. One of the two."